#look I’ll delete this later it’s just. I really think the government structure needs to change.
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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 10 months ago
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I don’t understand how politicians can live in a country and just. Be so removed from important issues. Be so removed from what people want.
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incredifan34 · 4 years ago
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Incredibles Theory
Recently, I watched a video by Cartoon Conspiracy that theorized that Syndrome, was, in fact, a superhero - more specifically, the child of two supers. I highly reccommend you check it out.
More specifically, in the video, Cartoon Conspiracy theorized that Syndrome's parents must've been supers for the following reasons:
Mr. Incredible / Bob Parr seems to know Buddy Pine's mother well, if not both of his parents. As seen with the wedding scene where Helen and Bob get married, most of the attendees are, in fact, superheroes. This would suggest that Bob and Helen's majority of friends / acquaintances are also supers.
Buddy Pine, as a child, seems to be overly eager to become a superhero himself (and has access to advanced tech parts), idolizing Mr. Incredible, showing up at the scene of the crimes, inventing his own tech to give him "powers", and dubbing himself "IncrediBoy". For one, where exactly is Buddy getting all of the tech parts (as a child, no less) needed to make working rocket boots? And two, how exactly where, and when, to find Mr. Incredible multiple times, unless he also had a police scanner / some sort of device that notifies Supers when criminals are at large? (Or, perhaps more likely, he overheard his Super parents talk about where Mr. Incredible normally fights crime?) And why is Buddy the only "sidekick" we see or hear about? This could also potentially point to Buddy having one, or two, superhero parents, ones with access to government technology made for superheroes (i.e. Gazerbeam's eyepiece, gauntlets, etc.).
Buddy Pine seems to be obsessively fixated on "becoming a superhero", so much so that his entire childhood is spent revolving around becoming one, as well as his later adulthood. It seems strange that Buddy is the only "non-Super" featured in the film who wants to emulate a superhero in real life, whereas everyone else seems to be perfectly content with letting the established Supers (ones with powers) do the job of crime-fighting for them.
Forshadowing as related to Jack-Jack Parr, the child of two Supers, supposedly "not having any powers". In the film, one of the points that comes up is Helen Parr, a.k.a Elastigirl, worrying about (or at least noticing) that "Jack-Jack doesn't [seem to] have any powers". This is in spite of Jack-Jack being the child of two superheroes. So this tells us two things: one, that a superhero couple has had at least one child before; and two, that a "non-super" born to two supers has also happened before. Why else would Helen Parr / Elastigirl just seemingly accept so suddenly that Jack-Jack doesn't have any apparent abilities, even though he's still a toddler? ...unless, of course, there was a previous example that she knew of a "superhero couple's baby" turning out to be a "Muggle"...a child, perhaps, like Buddy Pine.
Syndrome's / Buddy Pine's later island base seems almost identical to the base of the Phantasmics, a team of superheroes mentioned in the extra of The Incredibles DVD. The Phantasmics were a super group part of the National Supers Agency, and focused on international threats. Their base, as such, is noted as a "Secret Mid-Ocean Location - Codename - New Atlantis".
Speaking of the Phantasmics, in the video noted by Cartoon Conspiracy, they were headed by team leader Everseer, whose superpowers included telepathy, clairvoyance, and "magni-vision"; Macroburst, a superhero with the ability to control air currents and create high-velocity winds; Plasmabolt, a female superhero whose powers involved shooting bolts of plasma, which was gathered from the insect-like antennae mounted on the head of her super suit; and Psychwave, whose powers included mental force wave generation, temporary mental paralysis, the ability to possess the bodies of others, psychic foresight, thought control, and telekinesis; her superhero uniform was notable for an atomic insignia. In the video montage of the Supers that Syndrome's Omnidroid kills in the film, the Phantasmics (Psycwave, Everseer, Macroburst) are some of the first superheroes to die by his hand.
Buddy Pine bears some physical resemblance to at least two potential Super parents. Cartoon Conspiracy theorized that Psycwave and Universal Man were the parents of Buddy Pine, because these two Supers appear first on his "kill list" (Project Kronos). However, personally, I think that Buddy Pine / Syndrome bears much more physical resemblance to the superhero Phylange, who had the ability to project sonic fields; and Apogee, a Super whose powers involved gravity control and levitation. Buddy Pine's facial / ear structure matches that of Phylange; his crooked teeth match Apogee's. Phylange and Apogee were both team members of the team "the Thrilling Three", along with...wait for it...none other than Gazerbeam. Likewise, Syndrome's Zero-point energy also involves what appears to be tech related to Apogee's gravity control / levitation ability.
Speaking of Gazerbeam, he seems to be, essentially, his presence seems to be the biggest piece of evidence in favor of this theory. According to The Incredibles DVD extras, Gazerbeam was originally a member of the Phantasmics, which would mean that he also worked with them off of their "secret island base" of "New Atlantis". (Sound familiar?) However, Gazerbeam's rivalry with team leader Everseer led to Gazerbeam's dismissal from the Phantasmics. After Dynaguy's death, Gazerbeam replaced him as leader of "the Thrilling Three", joining Phylange and Apogee in crime-fighting. In the film, Gazerbeam is also featured heavily somewhat, giving Mr. Incredible / Bob Parr the information on "Project Kronos" post-humously. However, Gazerbeam's previous involvement with the Phantasmics (and their "island base") seems too convenient to be merely a coincidence when it comes to his presence on Syndrome's island.
The "Thrilling Three"'s base seems based out of the same city from the intro. According to, again, the DVD extras, the Thrilling Three were based out of "the Trilling Three Towers...hours of operation effective by noon". (Again, why not start crime-fighting until noon, unlike the "around the clock" listed availability of other superheroes...unless one of the team had to take care of her child?) The Towers must've been based in the same city as Helen and Bob got married in, because Gazerbeam (a later Thrilling Three team member) also shows up at their wedding. Dynaguy, the current TT leader, also shows up to the wedding. However, the other two TT members, Apogee and Phylange, don't make an appearance. This could be due to the trouble their son (Buddy Pine) got into with Mr. Incredible only a short time before.
The only other "tech hero" seen in the film is Dynaguy, who, like Buddy Pine, had "rocket tech" to allow him to fly. Dynaguy, of course, used to be the leader of the "Thrilling Three", before his untimely death because his cape hit a snag on liftoff. Again, it seems too much to be a mere coincidence that Buddy Pine - who could be the child of two of Dynaguy's team members - apparently had the same, advanced "Super" tech Dynaguy had access to, albeit with Buddy reworking it into "rocket boots". Buddy even says to Mr. Incredible, "This is because I don't have powers, isn't it? Well, not every superhero has powers, y'know! You can be super without them! I invented these. I can fly! Can you fly?"
Buddy's / Syndrome's own dialogue as it relates to the Incredibles seems to indicate his own past. In the alternate opening on the deleted scenes, there's this really creepy moment after Syndrome hears baby Violet crying and then says to Bob, "You are breaking the law, Mr. Incredible. You know supers aren't supposed to breed," his eyes just slowly move in the direction of Violet's room. There's something very unsettling about that moment. Syndrome has Bob and Helen trapped with his freeze ray, and there's nothing they can do to stop Syndrome as he moves down the hall toward Violet. (Source) Likewise, Syndrome's decision to try and abduct Jack-Jack to "raise him as his own son" is disturbing in itself...almost like Syndrome has mental issues from his own abandonment / neglect as the child of a Super couple.
In addition to the last point, Syndrome's dialogue as he attempts to kidnap Jack-Jack is also very telling as to his own past:
Syndrome: "Shhhhhh.... the baby's sleeping. (chuckles evilly) You took away my future. I'm simply returning the favor. Oh, don't worry, I'll be a good mentor. Supportive, encouraging. Everything you weren't! And in time, who knows? He might make a good sidekick."
My theory as to what happened in Buddy's / Syndrome's backstory...
So, while Cartoon Conspiracy theorized that Buddy Pine is, in fact, a Super - having "super intelligence" - I am of the belief that Buddy, in reality, is not a Super. However, I agree on the point that he was born to two Super parents, just different ones from CC's theory: Phylange and Apogee.
Sometime before the flashback in the intro to The Incredibles, Phylange and Apogee had a son: Buddy Pine. However, being born to two superhero parents, especially during "the Glory Days", likely wasn't easy. When both of your parents' jobs involves dedicating themselves to a life of crime-fighting, where does that leave Buddy Pine?
As a result, growing up, Buddy's parents are frequently away on business. As such, he grows up looking up to, and idolizing, superheroes - and one in particular, Mr. Incredible. I think Buddy's obsession with Mr. Incredible started because, perhaps, he was neglected emotionally at home by his largely-absent parents. As such, Buddy decided to "latch onto" who he saw as a "perfect" father figure and role model - Mr. Incredible, who was an associate of his parents'.
As such, Buddy built up a "shrine" to Mr. Incredible in his house; "invented" his rocket boots; joined the Mr. Incredible Fan Club (or maybe even started it); and even tried to fight crime alongside Mr. Incredible as his sidekick ("ward"), "IncrediBoy". Having been emotionally neglected by his parents, he used this as a way to try and "become worthy" (in his eyes) of the attention and affection they never gave him. In his eyes, if he became a "Super", and "earned respect" as one, then his parents (as well as Mr. Incredible) might spend more time with / praise him.
Perhaps the case could've been that, because Buddy was born without any superpowers, he was more neglected by his parents, in his view, because "they expected / wanted a Super child". So, Buddy thought, if he could become a Super himself, then, perhaps, they might "love him more" then.
Indeed, TV Tropes says of a "Muggle born of mages":
He may be nice-if-pathetic or mean-spirited, but whatever the case, his bitterness and regret over not being a super is a major character trait.
If there's one thing that Buddy Pine / Syndrome seems to practically ooze, it's "bitterness and regret over not being a Super". He seems to always carry a chip on his shoulder because of it.
Buddy Pine / Syndrome particularly has three quotes related to the "absent parent narrative", particularly the "absent father" one:
"I'll give them heroics. I'll give them the most spectacular heroics that anyone has even SEEN!"
"See? Now you respect me, because I'm a threat. That's the way it works."
"That ship has sailed! All I wanted was to help you, I only wanted to help! And what did you say to me? (Flashback of Mr. Incredible: "Fly home, Buddy. I work alone.") It tore me apart, but I finally learned an important lesson: you can't count on anyone, especially your heroes!"
However, when Buddy Pine is rejected by Mr. Incredible, after the incident with Bomb Voyage, his anger and bitterness comes to a head. He decides that he "can't rely on anyone - not even his heroes", and, over time, becomes more and more hateful of his parents, and Supers in general. He sees them as people who deserve to be hurt - to be punished - and "just as they took away his future", he would "return the favor".
In time, Buddy Pine develops all sorts of tech, most likely taken from his parents' base. He likely goes to a normal university - probably a tech-related one - and is eventually hired by the government / National Supers Agency, possibly due to his parents' influence as (by-then-ex) Supers. He uses the government tech to create weapons of war and other technology, selling them to other countries for a huge sum on the black market.
All the while Buddy Pine works for the NSA, he gathers all of the intelligence he can on every Super, especially after the Supers go into hiding. Previously, the NSA required every superhero to register with them to fight crime legally, so naturally, they would have all of the Supers' information. Buddy Pine uses the government's task of "hiding" the Supers against them, and even his own parents.
However, despite the U.S.'s "Superhero Relocation Program", effectively ending the Supers, this isn't enough for Buddy. He begins plotting his revenge. Likewise, the Phantasmics are still operating internationally, not just in the U.S., off of their island base of "New Atlantis". Buddy, as part of the government / NSA, manages to get sent to "New Atlantis" as an NSA agent, claiming "he needs to do official government business".
So, Buddy scopes out the island, planning his method of attack. In the meantime, he finishes completion of the Omnidroid v.X1, and manages to lure the ex-superhero Universal Man to his death via it.
Not long after Universal Man's death, Buddy launches a surprise attack on the Phantasmics. (That, or he disguises it as an "NSA training session / meeting".) In the battle, Psycwave and Everseer are killed by the Omnidroid v.XI. Macroburst manages to take out the Omnidroid, only to be later killed by the Omnidroid v.X2. The last remaining team member, Plasmabolt, manages to escape the island, and is never seen / heard from again.
With the Phantasmics out of the way, Buddy takes over "New Atlantis", and makes it his base of operations as Syndrome. His next target - not surprisingly - is his own father, Phylange. Luring his father to the island, Buddy uses the Omnidroid v.X2 to kill him, obtaining the first part of his revenge.
After killing a few more Supers, Buddy moves on to his mother, Apogee, luring her to the island to kill her with the Omnidroid v.X4.
Meanwhile, former Phantasmics member Gazerbeam has been working as a lawyer. After being forced into hiding, Gazerbeam used his civilian identity to launch a campaign to get the ban on Supers repealed. Frozone commented that he "had trouble adjusting to civilian life," much like his best friend Mr. Incredible had. Also, Bob Parr (Mr. Incredible's civilian alter ego) had learned in a Metroville Tribune newspaper that Gazerbeam had gone missing. According to the newspaper article, he was last seen outside his apartment on Traction Avenue ten days prior to the date of the article. His past advocacy of Superhero rights—which had lead some citizens to believe that he had actually been a superhero—would have made him a likely target (especially to Operation Kronos, a plan set forth by super-villain Syndrome). (Source)
However, Gazerbeam had also been former team mates (and likely close friends) with Phylange and Apogee, Buddy's parents. After reading / hearing about Phylange's and Apogee's "disappearance", along with that of other supers, Gazerbeam does some extra research. He finds that Phylange, Apogee, and/or their son, Buddy, were last tracked to / seen on "New Atlantis", the Phantasmics' old base.
Thus, Gazerbeam, under the guise of being "recruited" for "Project Kronos", decides to do some undercover investigations. In time, he finds out the terrible truth - that Buddy Pine, his best friends' son, is now a meglomaniacal supervillain, and has been the one killing Supers - but that he's the next victim.
Likely being ambushed after finding out the truth, Gazerbeam has just enough time to swim to the underwater cave, and, using his abilities, carve the word "KRONOS" into the rock wall. By then, the Omnidroid catches and kills him, or he's already been mortally wounded.
And, from that point on, the events of The Incredibles happen as-is.
And, as a final kicker: the name "Kronos" itself is not only a reference to the 1957 movie [Kronos](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kronos_(film), but also to, in Greek Mythology, the leader and youngest of the first generation of Titans, the divine descendants of Uranus, the sky, and Gaia, the earth. He overthrew his father, Uranus, and ruled during the mythological Golden Age, until he was overthrown by his own son, Zeus, and imprisoned in Tartarus.
The period in which Kronos ruled was called the Golden Age, as the people of the time had no need for laws or rules; everyone did the right thing, and immorality was absent. Kronos learned that he was destined to be overcome by his own son, Zeus, just as he had overthrown his father, Uranus; thus, Kronos ate his own children, until his wife tricked him, and raised Zeus outside of his influence.
In the same vein, "Kronos" could be a reference by Buddy Pine himself to how he views his vengeance - with him as "Zeus", he used "Project Kronos" as a way to overthrow his father, Phylange (and his father figure, Mr. Incredible), "the most-well-known Supers of the Golden Age", even years after the Supers' retirement. And, just like how Zeus locked away all of the Titans (and Kronos) after their defeat to clear the way for him to rule as King of the Gods, Buddy / Syndrome kills so many Supers in order to clear the way for his "new world order".
After all...
Syndrome: [watching live news footage of the Omnidroid] "Huh? Huh? Oh, come on! You gotta admit, this is cool! Just like a movie: the robot will emerge dramatically, do some damage, throw some screaming people. And just when all hope is lost? Syndrome will save the day! I'll be a bigger hero than you ever were."
Mr. Incredible: "You mean you killed off real heroes so that you could pretend to be one?"
Syndrome: "Oh, I'm real. Real enough to defeat you! And I did it without your precious gifts, your oh-so-special powers. I'll give them heroics. I'll give them the most spectacular heroics anyone's ever seen! And when I'm old and I've had my fun, I'll sell my inventions so that everyone can be superheroes. Everyone can be super!"
Syndrome: "And when everyone's super ...[laughs]...no one will be."
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doctortreklock · 4 years ago
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AU-gust 22 - Futuristic AU
For this. On AO3.
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.42
We got in a bit of a scrape with some unfriendly locals on the planet and found ourselves unable to evacuate due to an ion storm. Which apparently Cmdr. Walker was unable to detect in advance, despite the size of the storm. This marks the fourth time in three months that Cmdr. Walker has failed to note a relevant scientific fact, despite his role as Chief Science Officer.
During our time on the planet, Dr. Winchester was able to...
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.135
Following recommendations from myself, Dr. Winchester, and First Officer Harvelle, Chief Science Officer Walker has chosen to resign his post and retire, effective as soon as a reasonable replacement can be located. He will be leaving Starfleet with full honors.
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.167
It has been two days, four hours since we picked up our new Science Officer, and I hate him already. Sammy said not to judge him so quickly, since we’re going to be stuck with him for the remainder of our five year mission, if not longer, but he said it with that pinched look that means he really does hate him as much as I do.
I’ve never worked with an Angel before. I knew they were aloof and cold, but the sheer lack of empathy. God. He’s an unfeeling bastard and it makes me wish I could punch him in the face and keep my command. Even if it would hurt me more than it hurt him.
...Okay, I just listened to that again, and I think I need to push for one of those mandatory ship-wide tolerance seminars again.
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.181
...four members of the landing party affected by an unknown poison, including myself. Though I was unconscious for most of the remainder of the mission, I was later filled in by Dr. Winchester and Cmdr. Harvelle.
Though the away party remained under threat from the native Tulian people, Dr. Winchester and Chief Science Officer Castiel were able to fabricate an antidote to the poison using the readings they acquired from their tricorders and the limited supplies they both keep on hand, as the transporter remained inoperative during this time. I have since been assured by Cmdr. Novak that the transporter malfunction was an anomaly that will not be repeated.
I am recommending commendations for Cmdr. Castiel and Lt. Cmdr. Winchester for exemplary service under pressure.
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.205
...how much is actual incomprehension and how much is willful misinterpretation. I swear, we had just talked about the structure of Human jokes and I know he knows more about prime numbers than I do. I think at this point he just gets a kick out of it. I mean, every time he pulls off one of his straight-faced Humans-are-so-strange routines, his eyes just freaking glimmer and he smiles a bit, just on one side.
Everyone on this ship must be blind if they can’t see how much he enjoys messing with us.
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.272
Our newest mission from Starfleet has required us to stop off at Houston IX to pick up an ambassador, whom we will then shuttle to Carthage.
We did not experience any difficulties picking up the ambassador. Once he was on board, however, it became clear that we had a problem.
Ambassador Crowley is a Demon, from the planet Demos in the Etheril system. Cmdr. Castiel is an Angel, from the planet Angelii in the Etheril system.
These two planets have been at war with each other for-fucking-ever, and I can’t believe Starfleet just royally screwed this one up, SO badly--
...Computer, delete--
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.272
...that douchebag Crowley has the gall to stand all smug in the transporter room and say that he’s terribly sorry for the confusion and he deeply hopes that the inconvenience won’t be an issue. The dick.
Castiel, on the other hand, was what I’m pretty sure passes as spitting mad on Angelii. I’m not sure how I ever believed he didn’t have any emotions because oh boy were they written all over his face. I’m frankly very surprised he didn’t smite Crowley where he stands for the audacity to come aboard his starship.
This officially puts paid to any belief I had in those rumors about Angels being able to melt eyeballs or kill people with a touch, because if he had those powers, I’m pretty sure Castiel would have used them, rank or no.
Then, as soon as I became aware of this little snafu, I had to go ring up the Admiralty and try to figure out what the fuck was going on. Because the blood feud between the Demons and the Angels was basic knowledge and the first bullet point in the personnel files for everyone from either planet.
There aren’t that many Angels in Starfleet, and even fewer Demons, so I’m not buying Zachariah’s butter-wouldn’t-melt routine. The Free Will is the only ship in the quadrant with any crew member from the Etheril system, so there’s no way we were picked at random to ferry Crowley around.
Someone’s got it out for Castiel, and I won’t stand for...
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.312
...injuries acquired while protecting a senior officer from harm. Dr. Winchester has assured me that Cmdr. Castiel will make a full recovery. The arrow that was meant for me hit him in the chest, which would be lethal for a Human, but Angelic biology differs in both the placement of internal organs and their capacity for rapid healing. I have been informed that Cmdr. Castiel can be expected back at his post within the week.
I am recommending commendations for Cmdr. Castiel for bravery under fire and dedication to the lives of crewmembers. I am also recommending commendations to Lt. Mills...
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2254.346
...turns out that Cas hasn’t seen any of the new holos with Ford Harrison. Or any of the older ones. Actually, scratch that.
It turns out that Cas hasn’t seen any holos. Not even older two-dimensional films. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
And that’s a crying shame. I have a large media collection, and I am not afraid to use it. We’ve started weekly movie nights. I’m also trying to introduce him to Earth snacks while I’m at it. Popcorn hasn’t gone over well, but he’s surprisingly into Thin Mints.
After we watch through my entire Ford Harrison collection, I might break out the older classics. Nothing quite like shiny, low-budget, low-tech, computer-animated explosions to lighten the mood.
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.11
...seems like the rumors of extrasensory perception have not been exaggerated. Though we were unable to detect any signal on the frequency he described, Cmdr. Castiel has made it clear that he has been summoned back to his home planet for some urgent business.
While the Free Will is technically on a mission to deliver supplies to Lunar Base Kappa, it is not an urgent assignment, so we have time to detour to the Etheril system. If we had not been able to, however, Cmdr. Castiel made it clear that he would be returning to his home planet, with or without the ship.
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.25
...won’t even talk to me anymore outside of shift! He’s cancelled the last two movie nights, and I swear he’s been avoiding me at mealtimes.
I don’t think I even realized how much time we’d spent together until we stopped.
I’m not sure what those bastards on Angelii did to him, but I swear to god...
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.47
I’m not sure what finally did it, but he’s talking to me again.
Sammy’s been giving me worried looks for a month, and I’m pretty sure he was working himself up to one of those “you know I care about you, and you’re my brother, but I have to look after the whole ship, and you’re being a dick right now” speeches. Because I totally was. Snappish and frustrated and irritated. ...all because Cas wasn’t returning my calls.
Metaphorically. My metaphorical calls. Because I wasn’t calling him. Obviously.
Anyway.
He’s talking to me again. If I had to put a guess on it, I’d say it probably had something to do with the discussion we had on the Angelii government and social hierarchy. Well, “discussion.”
I might have ranted and yelled at him, but I was concerned, and he didn’t look phased, so I’m not going to worry about crossing any hypothetical boundaries here.
And I’m not sure what it was. But the next morning he met me for breakfast in the mess before shift as if we’d never stopped hanging out. I’m not sure where I went wrong, but I might know how to fix it if it happens again.
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.93
Someone’s going to die.
I haven’t quite figured out who yet, but they’ve got Zachariah in their pocket, and they’re the ones who called Cas back home, and they’ve got nothing good planned.
I’m not sure what they wanted with Cas, but I deprogrammed him again and I’m keeping him, come hell or high water, so I’d like to see them try and take him again. I’ll be waiting for them.
...Shit. Does this count as a premeditated confession in a court of law? Probably best to be on the safe side then. Just in case. Computer, delete--
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.127
...little evidence of large-scale corruption, it is nevertheless apparent that the Daughters of Lucifer were not a small or poorly funded organization.
Their activities - including the targeting of my Chief Science Officer - have been shut down, but I am recommending extensive monitoring of the entire Etheril system, as well as planets with large Angel or Demon populations. Both Abaddon and Ruby have evaded capture and it is not clear what their next moves are.
I am recommending a commendation for creative strategy under pressure for Cmdr. Castiel and commendations for bravery under fire for Cmdr. Harvelle, Cmdr. Castiel, Cmdr. Novak, Lt. Cmdr. Winchester, Lt....
--
Captain’s Log - Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.135
We are hoping for a quiet mission on Altair VII. Cmdr. Novak believes he has devised a way to operate the transporters through an ion storm. Cmdr. Castiel has identified one beginning to brew here in the upper atmosphere, so we’re going to try testing that theory.
Lt. Cmdr. Mills will be leading the away team with Ensigns Jones, Novak, Spengler, and Zeddmore. The primary aim of this mission is to test Cmdr. Novak’s hypothesis by attempting to transport blocks of matter to and from the surface of the planet. The secondary aim of the mission is to take tricorder readings of the air, soil, and native flora.
Cmdr. Castiel will take the conn during this mission, as it falls entirely within the purview of the Science Division. This will also serve as a test of Cmdr. Castiel’s aptitude for command, as Cmdr. Harvelle has indicated that she will be seeking a promotion to captain when we next return to Earth later this year, leaving the First Officer’s position vacant.
--
Personal Log - Capt. Dean Winchester of the USS Free Will Stardate 2255.165
Sammy’s been giving me weird little half-glances all day, but it wasn’t until I got back to my room ten minutes ago that I figured out why.
It’s been a year since Cas came on board.
Just for kicks and giggles, I went back to listen to the first couple logs I made after he joined the crew. Man, was I wrong back then.
Cas isn’t cold or aloof or emotionless; I just didn’t know how to read him yet. I’m not sure if that’s a Cas thing or more of an Angel thing, but it definitely makes me happy that he’s on board. He’s my best friend, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Between Crowley and Lucifer and all of the day-in, day-out missions we’ve had while boldly going, it’s been a rough year, but never let it be said that the Free Will is boring.
I think I can hear Cas in the hallway, so I’ll cut it short. It’s movie night.
Winchester out.
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healthnotion · 6 years ago
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Feel Busy and Distracted? Here’s How to Take Control
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Editor’s note: This is a guest article from John Zeratsky.
You’ve got a new email from your boss, plus a dozen old ones that still require a response . . . Your friend posted photos from her visit to a coffee plantation in Costa Rica . . . What’s the stock market doing today? Everyone is saying a bear market is coming, but you can’t really predict those things . . . There’s a new iPhone out, and you heard you can unlock it with your mind . . . You just got a notification: The deputy secretary of some government agency is resigning . . . You have time for a few minutes of Fortnite, don’t you? Today you have a lot of meetings. What will you do about dinner? You should keep moving, be productive, and do the right thing . . . You read that the most successful people aren’t on Facebook and have something called grit. That sounds good. You need grit.
We live in a distracting world, and it’s not getting any better. New information crashes toward us at every moment. Technology companies work tirelessly to create products that bring convenience and delight to our days. The incentive structure hasn’t changed: usage creates data, data sells ads, ubiquity creates demand, demand sells devices. Sure, Google has Digital Wellbeing and Apple has Screen Time, and both are good things. But the bottom line is that everyone involved — from the hardware makers to the OS designers to the app creators — benefit when we use these technologies more, not less.
It’s natural to think we need more discipline, willpower, energy, stamina, focus, or grit to resist these distractions. More something, for sure.
But for most people, I don’t think willpower is the right approach. New psychology research is showing that old ideas about willpower and self-control weren’t quite right. It’s possible that we can’t build willpower and that self-control isn’t so effective, after all. What often looks like strength of resolve is really the result of an environment or mindset that makes the right decisions the easy decisions. 
But if self-control is a function of circumstances, how can you change those circumstances? If willpower is a myth, how can you create an environment for good decisions that don’t require willpower? It starts with defaults.
If You Feel Busy and Distracted, It’s Not Your Fault
Every day, dozens of defaults  —  from preinstalled apps, to expectations of instant response, to smartphone notifications, to cultural agreements on what’s considered “normal”  —  shape how we spend our time. Our willing acceptance of distracting apps and our culture of constant busyness show just how normal these things have become. Defaults seem inevitable after the fact, but they weren’t assembled according to a grand plan. Modern life is not a utopia designed by some genius  —  it’s just a collection of defaults that have stuck over the years.
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So if you constantly feel busy and distracted, it’s not your fault. But there is something you can do about it: You can change the defaults of distraction and busyness by reconfiguring your technology. 
Let’s get real: If you want to reclaim control of your time, it’s your responsibility. No digital wellbeing feature or anti-technology manifesto is going to undo these defaults. And nobody cares more about your time than you do. Don’t get me wrong: I’m glad that Google, Apple, and Facebook are designing tools to help us form healthier relationships with their products. I’m happy that writers like Tristan Harris and Adam Alter are pulling back the curtains on the tech industry and pushing these companies to do better. 
But you can’t wait for tech companies to give you back your time. It’s on you.
Since you’re reading this article, you probably feel like you should get better about distraction and focus. You probably recognize the sensation that rises after a mindless Instagram session or a where-did-the-day-go evening reflection. Maybe it feels like regret. Maybe it feels like fire. But if you feel it, harness that energy. Don’t wait. Make the changes now. 
How to Create Barriers to Distraction
What I’m about to suggest is simple but not easy. It requires a burst of effort, but once you reconfigure your devices and apps, you don’t have to constantly resist the distractions. You won’t feel that nagging pull to do a quick Twitter check, because you can’t. You won’t wonder whether you have any new emails, because you can’t find out. The key is creating barriers to distraction.
Here are three things you can try now — three tactics that take willpower and self-control out of the equation:
1. Remove Distracting Apps (On Your Phone)
This is the simplest, most effective way to reclaim time and attention from your smartphone. In contrast to hacks like selectively disabling notifications, rearranging your homescreen, customizing sounds and vibrations, or putting your phone into “Airplane” or “Do Not Disturb” mode, removing apps gets to the core of the problem. It cuts off distraction where it starts. And it makes the hacks obsolete: You won’t have to worry about notifications or airplane mode or hiding your distracting apps if they’re not installed in the first place.
If removing apps is so effective and so simple, why don’t more people do it? Maybe we fear the anticipated pain of making hard choices, so we look for shortcuts that feel productive (like an elaborate form of procrastination). Maybe we worry about removing a certain app because we use it for work, or because we’ll fall out of touch with friends, or because everyone else is using it. But we forget that defaults feel more permanent than they really are; that the app store is still just one tap away and friction-free as ever; and that we can still use Twitter and check email and read the news, but we can do it on our terms. 
Besides, I’m not proposing monastic vows of tech abstinence — just an experiment with a distraction-free phone.
After removing these apps, you might find that your feelings of FOMO are replaced with new feelings of calm and control over your time. You might realize that seeing your friends’ photos on Facebook is not the same as keeping in touch with them. And you might discover that being less responsive actually makes you a more valuable colleague, because you can spend more time on the work that matters to your team.
2. Log Out and Change Passwords (On Your Computer)
Removing Infinity Pool apps (those that suck you in with their capacity for endless surfing/scrolling/refreshing) from your smartphone is a big step toward reclaiming your time and attention. But you might find that the empty address bar of your computer’s web browser is just as hard to resist. It’s right there every time you wake your computer: a magical portal to the infinite possibilities of the Internet.
How can we make time for what matters when the alternative is infinite entertainment and education? Once again, the key is creating barriers to distraction; but on the computer, it’s not quite as easy as deleting a few apps. 
Here’s what works for me:
First, I changed my passwords for Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn (my top distractions on the computer).
I chose new passwords that were random and impossible to remember. For example, m6a$78Hg. (Don’t get excited; that’s not really one of my passwords.)
I put those passwords in a password manager app. I like 1Password, but there are others.
I logged out of each and every Infinity Pool website.
I removed all bookmarks and shortcuts to these sites from my browser.
These simple tweaks create speed bumps on the road to mindlessly checking one of these Infinity Pools. Let’s say I semi-unconsciously “decide” to check Twitter. (This happens multiple times a day.) Because I no longer have a link in my bookmark bar, I have to type in twitter.com. But when I hit return and the login screen appears instead of the feed, I’m reminded to pause and consider what I’m doing: Am I checking Twitter on purpose, or by default? Do I have something to do — like see if anyone posted a question about my book — or am I just looking for a break?
The answers to these questions are not always clear, and goodness knows I don’t always make the right decisions. (“Right” being the decisions I know I want myself to make. I’m not talking about some universal judgment of what’s right and wrong here.)
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When I’m finished using one of these sites, I log out again, resetting the barriers to distraction. I’ll admit: That final log-out does require a small amount of ongoing discipline. But this habit is easier to maintain than most, because I can harness the feelings of guilt and annoyance that typically accompany the end of a session with one of these apps. It goes something like this: Hmm, do I really want to look at Twitter? Yeah, okay, there’s something I need to do. . . 30 minutes later . . . Ugh, I spent half an hour on Twitter! I gotta do something else. I should log out so this doesn’t happen again. Click!
The friction introduced by having to stop, consider, grab the password, copy, paste, and sign in does me good. It forces me to make a decision about how I’m spending my time, instead of mindlessly reacting to defaults.
3. Get Proactive With Your Time
This defensive perspective  —  creating barriers and habits to defeat distraction — is essential for reclaiming time and attention, but an emphasis on defense can feel like drudgery. It’s like eating healthy or saving money: both are necessary but can feel like chores (or worse, like deprivation) unless balanced by an awareness of why we’re adopting those behaviors. 
Similarly, when it comes to how we spend our time, we need more than defense — we need to think proactively about what we’re making time for. 
The best way I’ve found to maintain a proactive mindset is with the daily practice of choosing a “Highlight” — a rewarding focal point and priority your day. Try asking yourself the question: When I look back on my day, what do I want the Highlight to be? Maybe it’s an accomplishment at work. Maybe it’s a project you’ve been meaning to do at home. Or maybe it’s an activity that brings you joy — a long walk, a board game, or cooking a meal from scratch. 
Thinking about what you’re making time for can create the motivation to set new habits into motion. And when your habits fall apart and things don’t go as planned, the daily presence of your Highlight becomes a beacon, reminding you of the decisions you made and the plans you set — and giving you a boost to get back on track. 
A daily Highlight can also be the saving grace of an otherwise “blah” day. When you’ve chosen a Highlight, and planned your day to make time for it, you can mark a “win” even if the rest of the day kind of sucks. 
That’s one of the reasons I love to work on my Highlight first thing in the morning: When I make time for something important right after waking up, the rest of the day is gravy. A traffic jam, a delayed train, a meeting that runs late, an outdoor workout that’s rained out — these things are a drag, for sure, but when I’ve already made time for my Highlight, I can grab a slice of satisfaction from even the most unsatisfactory of days. 
The power of a Highlight to rescue a day is critical to the attitude of self-forgiveness that I talked about at the beginning of this story. See, you’ll never be perfectly free of distraction. Your days will never be perfectly planned. And while it’s not your fault that you live in a world of endless busyness and distraction, you can do something about it. You can adjust the defaults of this world. You can create an environment that supports and enables the kinds of decisions you want to make about your time. 
If you’re intentional about your decisions, yet forgiving when things don’t go according to plan, you can change your life. You have to start sometime. Why not today?
Be sure to listen to our podcast with John: 
______________ 
John Zeratsky is obsessed with the idea of redesigning time. He’s the author of Sprint and Make Time.
All illustrations by Jake Knapp and taken from Make Time.
The post Feel Busy and Distracted? Here’s How to Take Control appeared first on The Art of Manliness.
Feel Busy and Distracted? Here’s How to Take Control published first on https://mensproblem.tumblr.com
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lonelypond · 8 years ago
Text
2024: Chapter 2
NicoMaki IdolPunk fun continues.  12 K words
Just as things get started between Maki and Nico, Nico has to forget everything and go back to her life as a government sponsored Super Idol. Christmas brings Maki into a direct confrontation with Nico’s boss while both the Soldier Game trio and the IdolFools continue trying to bring a little more girl on girl power into the universe.
So the usual ; )
ON THE STREET
Nico was rushing. She glanced at her watch. She’d taken the set up dose of A-TAK three hours ago, she needed to take the finishing dose within the next three hours. Pretty silent streets, she pulled up her hoodie and tried to stay close to walls. Honoka and Rin should be popping up anytime now.
She heard Rin before she saw her, a quick giggle and a ‘nya’ that carried down the street. There was no threat that could squelch Rin’s enthusiasm for everything. Nico envied her that quality. Honoka was a little more sensible, at least aware that loud noises could draw security and police attention, but her appetite for risk taking and fun heartened Nico on those nights when the future seemed cloudy. Nico sometimes had too much time to think, when she wasn’t performing for screaming fans, and she would find herself wondering why she continued pushing a government agenda opposite her truth. But tonight, Nico had her friends and co conspirators at her side. And right now, she was taking a stance she believed in, indulging in a risk that thrilled her, having this moment to connect with a woman who’d rescued her unknowingly. Diamond Princess and her friends had put Nico in a bad spot, but the A-TAK would help. Her superiors would assume some foreign power had grabbed her and the robot. The foggy fear induced by A-TAK would keep her recent memory too confused to be useful. Japan didn’t use that particular chemical but it did expose its agents to its memory blurring effects so they would be prepared for it.
Rin ran up to Nico and hugged her, hard, “We were worried.”
“I’m ok, I’m on a time limit though so let’s go.”
Honoka nodded and tossed a bag at Nico, “Where to, Boss?”
“Jeez, can’t you figure anything out on your own?” Nico frowned, trying to remember what neighborhood this was, ‘isn’t there some cutesy club around here where celebrities bring their ‘dream dates?’”
“Why doesn’t the great Nico Ni ever have a dream date?” Honoka teased, nudging Nico.
“Haven’t you heard? I’m a robot?” Nico ripped the top off a can of spray paint and positioned the VOC catch, “I think it’s this way.” Nico pointed behind her. Rin sprinted off.
Streets were quiet. Police were probably looking for Nico Ni, hopefully in a direction far from here or Nishikino’s townhouse. Nico pictured the redhead, the moment before Nico had broken her concentration, sitting in her bedroom, hair askew, absorbed in a book. Nico knew she was sorry to have to blur that quiet moment.
Rin whistled, waving both arms. Nico headed in her direction. Nice, clean wall. Nico started to spray. Lips first, vivid neon red, Nico biting her own as she tried not to be distracted by memories of Maki’s. Satisfied with the vibrancy, she switched to silver, glittery paint.
ON SCREEN ROMANCE
Umi was taking pictures of the robot, Eli was trying map its mechanical structure, Maki had taken a small sample of brain matter to try to break down its molecular structure. Now, she was sitting at her computer, watching Yazawa make wide sweeps over a pair of painted lips.
“What’s tonight’s message?” Eli wondered.
Maki leaned closer, watching No.1 finish and start her signature, “Girl on…” Maki coughed.
“What’s wrong?” Eli wandered behind Maki, leaning over the redhead’s shoulder, “Girl On Girl Power!” Eli laughed, “Oh Nozomi’s going to love that one. I’ll have Yazawa put it on a shirt.”
“Does Nozomi know her?” Maki asked as her fingers moved to double snap the footage away. “Yeah, they’re old friends, from elementary school, before the Test split them up. They still hung out in the neighborhood though, Nozomi told me, until Nico went off to college.” She paused, “I guess Nico actually went off to the military.”
“Isn’t it weird, idols in the air force?” That was really bothering Maki. That and the thought that Nico-chan…Lt. Colonel Yazawa could get shot down or something.
Eli watched the expressions scroll across Maki’s face, worry, confusion, anger, gloom, concern and intense interest as No 1 Idol left the screen. Double snap.
“She is kinda cute though,” Eli teased. Maki was focused enough on whatever she was thinking that Eli thought she could get an honest response out of her very reserved friend.
“Hmmmm…” Maki looked up, “What?”
Eli shrugged at her miss. Maki was as oblivious as always. “I’m sure Yazawa isn’t in any physical danger. And the military always has psyops programs. This one just has unexpected facets.”
“And targets.” Maki added, “Teenagers. It’s actually pretty clever….psyops, hmmm.”
Eli knew Maki would be spending time researching that. It was what Maki did. So Eli left her alone, flipping through windows on her screen, recognizing that her colleague had fallen into a fugue state and would be no good for conversation and impervious to teasing.
Half an hour later, Umi broke the silence, “I think I’m done. Do you need anything else, Maki?”
The redhead leaned back, hands rubbing her eyes, “12 hours of sleep and a weekend with the robot.”
“Pervert.” Yazawa’s voice rang through the room and Maki nearly fell backwards out of her chair.
“How did you get back in here?” Maki spluttered as she stood.
“Military training. I liked to party during spy school so I got good at stealth and locks. Turned out it was actually a test I had to pass.”
“Oh,” Maki glanced down at the woman in front of her, who suddenly pulled off the t-shirt of Maki’s she was wearing, revealing a bra that barely counted as support and well toned abs. Maki stepped back, panicking, “Wait, what are you…”
Nico rolled her eyes, “I need to get back in the costume and makeup. Relax. You’re a real MD, right?”
Maki hesitated, still looking away. “Y…yes.”
“Good, I’m going to need you to give me an injection. Oh, and my hacker’s going to be here in a few minutes, let her have access to the robot. Eli knows her.”
Maki followed Nico as she headed to the bathroom, “Injection?”
“It’s a 2 stage drug we call A-TAK. It triggers a massive, near heart attack inducing panic attack with hallucinations that overlays fear and confusion over recent memories so you can be more effectively brainwashed. It’s not much help with interrogation but great for disorientation. I took the set up dose 5 hours ago and I need to get the finish dose in me now.” Nico grabbed her makeup kit from the duffle and Maki followed her into the bathroom, “Basically, I won’t remember anything from tonight.”
“Oh.” Maki wasn’t sure what to think. But Nico’s presence in her home suddenly seemed as natural as their conversation, “Will you be all right, Lt. Colonel?”
“I already survived it once.” Nico smiled at Maki, “And you can call me, Nico.” Then the corner of her lip turned down, “Well, if we ever do see each other again, you’d probably better keep calling me Nico Ni or ‘government shill’.”
“Why?”
Nico grabbed the hand towel. “After the snatch and grab, you’ll be a blip on my superior’s radar.”
“But I wasn’t…” Maki stopped herself as Nico started washing her face.
“Doesn’t matter. You were there. I’m top top secret. They don’t take risks.”
“But how do you manage…?” Maki had so many questions and Nico didn’t even let her ask one.
“Carefully.” Nico looked down at her watch and then turned. She was closer than Maki realized and her ruby eyes looked into Maki’s and sparkled, “I have to thank you, Dr. Nishikino.”
“Maki.” Maki tilted her head, noticing the droplets hanging off Nico’s eyelashes.
“Maki then,” Nico’s grin was adorable and Maki started to forget everything else in the world, “I have to thank you. You saved me on a very grim night.”
“Huh? Tonight?” Maki asked, only half paying attention to what she was saying.
“No,” Nico shook her head, but only slightly as she kept her eyes on Maki’s, “months ago, the first time you deleted footage. I was frustrated, exhausted, tired of the whole” Nico giggled, “‘demon doll’ gig and I’d dragged Rin and Honoka out to do something, anything, and I honestly didn’t care what happened to me after.” Nico glanced away. Maki felt her hand reaching out, but clenched her fist. “It was rash, a stupid, impulsive thing to do, the only stupid and impulsive thing I have ever done and I didn’t know what would happen next. But someone destroyed any trace anyone could use to track me.” Nico looked up again, eyes wide, “And saved me. Thank you, Maki-chan.”
Maki just stared. She let her hand move and traced the other woman’s cheek, still damp.
Nico’s fingers met Maki’s, “I have to go. There’s a small zipped bag in my duffle. It’s got the finishing dose in it.”
“You won’t remember anything?” Maki asked she moved in even closer. It’s your only shot here, Nishikino, her brain nudged and suddenly she was kissing Nico with a gentle tenderness that surprised Maki. “Not even that?” she asked as she pulled slowly back, staring at the lips she desperately wanted to dip into for a longer taste.
Nico blinked slowly, silent for a moment, almost smiling, but then her laugh barked, “I hope not.”
“WHAT?” Stunned out of cozy haze, Maki’s eyes read the loneliness in the depths of Nico’s.
“It’ll be like a bad, out of focus horror movie.” Nico shook herself and turned back to the mirror, rapidly and expertly applying layers of makeup, “I’d rather have you in my dreams” a pause, “like I did before, rather than the nightmares I’ll have after tonight.”
“Before?”
Nico shrugged, her voice soft, “You are kinda memorable.”
Maki looked away, blushing, then remembered this wasn’t any sort of ordinary situation. She stepped behind Nico, close enough to feel Nico breathe and met Nico’s reflected glance, her own eyes starting to tear. “Don’t g…”
“Have to…”
“Just drop out of sight. I can help.” Maki promised, her hands reaching for Nico’s waist.
Nico rested both her hands on the sink, glaring at Maki in the mirror, “I’ve given up stupid and impulsive, even for guardian angels with gorgeous lavender eyes.” Then in a lightning quick change of mood, she winked.
Maki’s chest compressed into a tiny knot that couldn’t breath as Nico went back to putting on her makeup. Her hands tightened into a hold that Nico didn’t break until she had to.
IDOL FREE
Nico was on the couch, unconscious and still. Maki had rested Nico’s head in her lap while Umi and Eli helped the unbelievably meek and shy Hanayo finish programming the robot. With light. Umi’s excitement had delayed their plans while she had Hanayo explain how the programming was registered by the optic sensors. The plan was to drop Nico and the Kira-bot in a distant district. The other IdolFools were meeting them with a van and would take over for the actual drop.
Nico had been right about the near heart attack; it had been difficult to watch, Nico’s eyes were wide and wild, not focusing on anything, her heartbeat racing and dropping precipitously at random intervals and Maki had almost put on noise blocking headphones to shut out the cries and whimpers of fear. And this was at least the second time Nico-chan had gone through this. Maki closed her eyes at the thought and moved a hand to Nico’s shoulder, caressing the back of her neck. She didn’t want to mess with the idol’s hair or makeup. Nico had replicated both exactly; an impressive feat.
“We’re ready.” Umi announced. Eli stood next to her. The robot was walking; Hanayo seemed to be remotely controlling it.
“We need to go now,” Eli approached, ready to pick Nico up. Maki shook her head, stood and then lifted the smaller woman. Nico’s costume might have weighed more than the unconscious Idol.
“Right. Let’s do this.” Maki forced her voice to determined and stepped carefully, her hold on Nico tight. When Eli and Umi turned to lead Hanayo to the basement entrance, Maki took a moment to lower her head to Nico’s ear, whispering as her eyes teared again and her arms pulled the singer into her chest, “Remember this feeling, Nico-chan. Please.”
KEEPING YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT
Nico grimaced. Since the night she was grabbed and drugged, the side effects had been difficult to deal with. She was currently working her way through her morning pushups, under the skeptical eye of her superior officer, Lt. General Komura Hiro. Vertigo was getting the best of her and she just stayed on the floor, rolling over to stare at a ceiling that refused to remain still.
Komura stood, “That’s what I like best about you, Yazawa. You’re more stubborn than smart.”
Nico grunted, “That’s how I ended up here, sir.”
“Get it together, Yazawa. Yesterday. You need to go back out there.”
“Yes, sir.” Nico stood, managed not to fall somehow and saluted.
People assumed Komura was a father figure to Nico as he’d overseen her career since her intake into the program at 16, but Nico herself had never thought that. She knew her value and Komura showed nearly daily that he did not. Nico’s actual father might have died when she was barely a teen, but he’d left her a legacy of goodwill and humor that none of her military superiors had matched or managed to darken. She made people smile, both with her singing and with her tagging. Both had value and Nico was proud of her efforts. That kept her going on the hard days. The last ten days had been her hardest. Being exposed to A-TAK a second time had made the effects linger and the medical people cluster. Too many tests, both of the medical and loyalty variety. Nico would dearly love to just put on her mask and sing for an audience. It would rejuvenate her.
PARTY PLANNING
Maki had stopped by the Nishikino mansion at her mother’s request, dodging the reporters who’d started paying more attention to her after the Nico Ni snatch and grab. Most coverage had downgraded the incident to a crazy fan prank and/or robbery, but questions were swirling about why the notoriously private Nishikino Maki had been present.
Maki had actually started spending more time at the mansion, if she wasn’t at either the dojo or her university office. The townhouse reminded her of that night…and Nico-chan. She’d had no luck coming up with an excuse to meet Nico-chan again. Eli had laughed at her, teasing her with ever more outrageous scenarios, but Umi had been more sympathetic, understanding that Maki did not want to compromise Nico’s position any more than she already had. Maki thought Umi also felt that she had possibly misjudged the urgency of sharing her suspicions about No 1’s identity.
Maki’s mother was in her office, frowning down at some paperwork.
“Mama.”
“Hi Maki,” Her mother smiled. “Planning the Christmas party is not going well.”
“Oh.” Maki sprawled into the couch opposite her mother’s desk and refrained from groaning. “Can I help?”
“Yes.”
Maki was surprised. Her mother never asked her for assistance with that sort of thing, “How?”
“Answer a question for me. My planner has suggested a few entertainers. Nico Ni is one of them. Would that be a problem for you? I know the press and bloggers have been hounding you.”
Maki wasn’t sure how to respond. Her mind immediately raced to seeing Nico again, but got stopped by the thought that her mother was just testing for a reaction.
Maki stretched her legs down the length of couch, head back on the arm, pretending disinterest. Looking at her, her mother was reminded of the moody teenager who would sit and sigh at any attempts to drag her out into society.
“You will have to attend, you know.” Her mother moved to the couch, sliding Maki’s feet into her lap as she sat.
“Yes, I will be a dutiful daughter. Consider it your Christmas present,” Maki winked at her mother, then sighed with a long breath., “Yazawa’s not my style, but she is extremely popular, Eli tells me. You should hire her. People will be impressed.”
“But will they be entertained?” Her mother watched her intently.
Maki shrugged, deciding she could afford to concede a point without seeming too enthusiastic, “She is good at what she does.”
“It won’t bring back bad memories?” her daughter’s face always gave away far more than Maki was aware of, but right now all she could see in it was caution damping a small spark of excitement.
“No, Mama. I’m fine. No one was interested in me.” Maki kept her tone dismissive.
Her mother raised an eyebrow, but nodded, patting Maki’s knee. “I’ll take my planner’s advice then and you avoid getting hit in the jaw.”
“Yes, Mother.” Maki yawned and decided to try napping. Her mother pulled out her phone, checking messages, enjoying what qualified as a cuddly vibe from her non demonstrative only child.
VISITING YOUR SCREEN
Umi watched Nico paint over Maki’s shoulders, “She’s not as fast or bouncy the past couple of times.”
“No.” Maki frowned, “I wonder if the drug is continuing to affect her. That info you hacked said there were no reliable cases where a person had been exposed twice.”
“She’s alive. And not in prison.” Umi stated.
Umi’s bracing pragmatism was usually a relief, but right now it was just another bucket of heartless reality dashed in Maki’s face.
“Nozomi says Nico’s not acting like herself. And she’s been tired and struggling with vertigo. She misses her family.” Eli offered, pushing her chair away from her work table.
“Family?” Maki’s voice cracked. Surely, Nico was too young for, no, surely she had no time, no, surely, she wouldn’t be…
Eli dropped a calming hand on Maki’s forearm “Siblings. Nico’s got younger siblings. Nozomi says Nico took care of them a lot after her dad died.”
Nico and company finished their art, a voluptuous woman in a Santa suit with a lipstick smudge on her cheek, “Haters = Naughty List. For Nice List, kiss No 1 in your dreams.”
Eli laughed, “I don’t think her family are the only people she misses.”
Maki blushed and watched Nico-chan salute the camera. Her smile lacked energy and her eyes were lowered. There’d been no sparkle. Maki reminded herself to keep brushing up on her practical doctoring skills.
DOWNTOWN TIME
Nico had allowed herself a bit more time this evening. So after their tagging session, the IdolFools had headed back to μ’s. One of the few places that had ever felt like home to Nico. Warmth and comfort, smiles greeting her from the women who cared about and for her. Kotori, Nozomi and Hanayo were waiting for them, with a snack.
“Kotori!” Honoka pulled her lover into a swirling hug. Kotori squeaked at the suddenness of the embrace, but grinned happily as the world went dizzy. Then, her adrenaline shot the next minute, Honoka collapsed on the loveseat, her head in Kotori’s lap, Kotori’s fingers affectionately rearranging her orange locks. Rin and Hanayo had quietly snuck hand and hand into the kitchen to make tea which left Nico sitting on a counter, head down, feet tapping out a rhythm. Nozomi stared at her oldest friend, trying to decide how to burst the melancholy of her mood.
When Nico seemed not to notice her own sigh, Nozomi decided a direct hit was necessary, “What’s the matter, Nicochi?”
Nico frowned. She hated admitting weakness of any sort and Nozomi was a terrible tease, but Nozomi also always sensed when Nico was in distress and just needed a friend. Which was now. She raised her head and saw nothing but concern in Nozomi’s turquoise eyes.
Nico groaned. “I’m tired. The A-TAK has still been hitting me hard.” She hung her head, “And I miss my family. I won’t get leave ‘til after the New Year. Too many performances.” Nico stared over Nozomi’s head, returned to melancholy.
“Do you miss the pretty doctor?” Nozomi prodded.
Nico shook her head and shrugged, “I don’t remember much. And she was pretty rude before.”
“Elichi says she’s worried about you.”
Nico felt her heart warm a little at the thought of Dr. Nishikino worrying about her, but that was not a warmth she could nurture or rely on. “I don’t care what the Doctor is doing.”
Nozomi prodded. She’d spent some time over her Tarot cards and she kept drawing the Knight of Cups for Nico, sometimes with either the 2 of Cups or the Tower. Nico was definitely about to have the Universe dump her into a maelstrom of emotion. “Eli said she told you to call her Maki that night.”
“Shut up, Nozomi.” Nico slammed her feet into the counter, then took a deep breath, reminding herself that Nozomi always pushed her. “It doesn’t matter if I can’t talk to her again.” She softened her tone, smiling at the purple haired woman, but her voice still snapped with anger, “Sorry but my life is more complicated than yours, remember. I just can’t waltz into her classroom or townhouse. Right now, I can’t waltz anywhere.” Nico cautiously got down from the counter, her landing wavering.
Nozomi hugged her best friend, neither of them admitting how much Nico needed the help to steady herself. “True. I’m sorry, Nicochi. I just want you to be happy”
“Yeah, me too. Both things.”
Rin and Hanayo choose that moment to arrive with tea and cookies. Nico welcomed the end to scrutiny. Everyone wanted information about Nishikino Maki, her friends, her superiors. Nico would continue to make a point of having none to give.
PARTY ON
Maki stared at herself in the hotel room mirror. Red dress, nicely tailored to suit her curves, white trim, Santa hat cocked over right eye. Adorable. And maybe eye catching enough to grab the attention of an Idol. Christmas had always been Maki’s favorite holiday…quiet winter nights, warmth, her parents’ full attention, the promise of Santa and presents. Tonight, she only wanted one present from Santa-san, a real chance to talk to Nico, here in this room. Wherever they hosted parties, her parents and their security always ensured there was a ‘quiet room,’ free of surveillance, for business or romantic privacy. Only the family and a few guests knew about it, but this year, for the first time, Maki fully intended to put it to use for herself.
Maki smoothed out the last wrinkle and shut the door behind her, nodded at the security guard outside and strolled into the ballroom. She wondered if Eli had arrived yet? As her TA, inviting Eli was natural. Umi would have been more difficult to explain, but Umi disliked big public affairs so there was never an issue to press.
And yet as she walked into the huge room swept with gold and silver, the first person she recognized was Umi, in a dark blue formal dress, black mesh glittering with stars over the skirt.
“Umi?”
“Good evening, Maki. Beautiful decorations.” Umi smiled.
“How?” Maki wondered how her mother had found out about Umi.
“Eli asked your mother if she could bring a couple of colleagues.”
“Oh.” Relief, then “A couple?”
“Nozomi is here as well.” Umi’s eyes swept the room but she saw neither of the women who had accompanied her.
‘Good for Eli,” Maki thought. She had yet to meet the woman Eli was dated, although Eli’s descriptions painted a picture of a raucous, vivid, larger than life personality.
The lights dimmed and a spotlight hit the top of the staircase. Super Idol Nico Ni’s entrance. Maki wondered what the chameleon would look like today. First, there were the male and female dancers in elf costumes, then the music picked up and Nico Ni strode out, in as form fitting a costume as Maki had ever seen her wear. She was in heels and her shoulders were extended by what looked like sheets of pine needles, her face obscured by more angular Christmas tree motifs, but green and gold twists of fabric clung tightly to her torso and the curves that had been hidden under Maki’s oversized t-shirt.
Umi moved closer to Maki, whispering advice, “Close your mouth. Possibly, just walk away.”
Maki nodded but was finding it hard to pull her eyes away from the singer. Nico delivered one song from the top of the stairs, then danced her way down, still singing. As she danced, the texture of her dress transformed from twists to open honeycombs that Maki swore she could see bare skin through. Her breath stopped, her eyes squinting to confirm the impression of Nico’s suddenly sheer costume. Nico stopped two thirds of the way down, dancers fanned out in front of her and began a medley of traditional Christmas tunes.
Maki had frozen, her jaw set, her eyes now wide with a mix of horror and and other emotions Umi preferred not to be aware of. Time to intervene, by pulling her friend toward the bar. Umi had spotted Eli and Nozomi getting drinks. Eli would help.
“Umi, Maki!” Eli waved cheerfully.
“Good evening, Eli.” Umi responded. Maki was trying to twist out of Umi’s grip, a primitive growl rising in her throat.
“What’s with the Professor?” Eli wondered.
Umi pointed at the show,“Got hit in the eyes with an idol shaped Christmas tree.”
“Ah,” Eli wrapped an arm around the oblivious Maki’s shoulders and handed her a drink, “Swallow. It’ll distract you.”
Maki obeyed but when the liquid hit her throat she gasped, “What the…”
Eli thumped her back, “Vodka. It’ll wake you up.”
“I’m awake.” Maki snarled. None of her dreams about Nico involved this many people or that much exposure.
Eli pulled Maki around, arm still tight on the redhead’s shoulder until Maki was face to face with a woman in a long black gown, purple tinted hair flowing over her bare shoulders and green eyes curious, “This is Tojo Nozomi, Maki. Nozomi, this is my boss, Professor Nishikino Maki, brilliant neurologist whose brain has rewired itself recently.”
“Oh really,” Nozomi’s eyes were wide with an innocence not reflected in her teasing tone of voice. “I wonder why that could be.”
Eli giggled. Maki stared at her friend, whom she had always viewed as a person even more serious than herself. Giggled. Eli. That was a disturbing sound.
But not as disturbing as Nico’s voice suddenly dropping out of the background noise mid song. Maki turned, a reflex, sprinting and not even Umi could catch her. Nico had fallen to the floor in front of the stairs. Maki reached her at the same time as an older gentleman in a suit. He knelt next to Nico; Maki pushed him out of the way.
“I’m a doctor. Who are you?” Her hands trembled at Nico’s throat, checking for a pulse.
“Her manager, Komura Hiro.” He glared.
“I apologize.” Maki forced herself to bow, “I am Dr. Nishikino Maki, this is my parent’s party and I would like to be of assistance, as well as move the singer out of the way so the other guests can continue to enjoy the party.”
Komura took a moment to examine Maki, his stare so intense she wondered if her were trying to read her motives. She kept her face neutral, imagining a student who needed chastising in front of her. Finally, Komura nodded and picked up Nico. Maki had to stop herself from clenching a fist at how roughly he handled Nico, who looked so frail.
“Follow me.” Maki led the way to the quiet suite, nodding at security as they opened the door and pointed to the couch, “Put her there. Has she been ill?”
“Dehydrated.” Komura grunted, “Maybe a touch of the flu.”
Maki picked up Nico’s hand, feeling for her pulse. It was fluttery and fast. She looked Komura straight in the eye and hurled her next words at him, “Maybe you should make sure your entertainer is well enough to perform before you cause a scandal at the biggest Christmas party in the country.”
“Maki.” Maki turned at the sound of her mother’s voice. The elder Nishikino had followed them into the room, “I am certain Mr. Komura is not happy about the situation either. Please don’t be rude.”
Maki nodded and turned back to Nico. No sign of consciousness yet. She needed an IV with saline solution, for a start. There would be some with the emergency medical supplies, “I need to get some fluids into her.” She gritted her teeth and forced out politeness, “If you will please allow me to treat your singer, Mr. Komura?”
Maki’s mother moved to Komura’s side, sliding her arm through his, “I assure you, Nico Ni is in excellent hands. Perhaps we can leave my daughter to work and discuss scheduling a benefit concert for the hospital when the Super Idol has completely recovered.” Her mother nodded at Maki, “My daughter works best when she is allowed to focus.”
Maki was impressed with how easily her mother maneuvered Komura out of the room, not even giving him a chance to respond to the question. She checked Nico again, still unresponsive, then went to give the security guards instructions.
“Let no one in; I’m treating a patient.”
The guards nodded.
Next step, supplies. Then getting Nico hooked up to the IV. Then waiting…Maki sat on the couch, next to Nico’s head. Nico took up so little room there was more than enough space for both of them. Maki gingerly removed what parts of the mask she could. Nico’s skin underneath had been painted gold. The mask still looked intact, no dents so Nico probably hadn’t hit her head. She should have asked her mother or Komura before they left if they’d seen the singer’s fall.
Nico looked cold. Maki pulled her woolen peacoat out of the closet and laid it over the singer, then changed back into the pants, shirt and vest she’d been wearing at the start of the evening and sat in the chair opposite the couch.
“I liked the dress, you were cute.” Nico’s voice barely qualified as a whisper.
Maki immediately knelt next to the couch, hand on Nico’s, ”How do you feel?”
“Light headed. Exhausted.”
“You look it.” Maki was trying not to tear up and turned her head away from Nico.
Nico struggled to sit up, “Hey. The great Nico Ni ALWAYS looks sexy cute.”
Maki wiped her eyes and pointed to the IV, “You accessorize so well. Lay back down.”
“Does Maki have an exciting plan for the alluring Nico Ni?” Nico winked.
Maki almost giggled at the absurdity of Nico flirting when she could barely keep her eyes open. Oh, was that gulp of feeling what had caused Eli to do such a silly thing? “Making sure you can walk out of my parent’s party without assistance. I’d rather not call an ambulance.”
Nico pouted. Then yawned. Then closed her eyes. Maki just kept watching her, willing herself to breathe. Nico rolled her head to the side and opened one eye, “You’re staring, Dr. Nishikino. Still think I’m a robot?” Nico’s smirk was scandalously self aware, “And would it be sexier if I was?”
“No. And call me Maki.”
“Okay, Dr. Maki.” Another yawn, “Nico Ni will take a nap. Wake me up when I have to go.”
Maki nodded and watch the singer fall asleep. She looked so tiny and brittle under Maki’s coat. Maki sighed and let her head fall into the arm of the couch. She should just claim she needed to admit Nico to the hospital and bar the door for a couple of days while she tried to figure out a way to help the singer recover. Maki wondered if Nico had tried any herbs or acupuncture. Or if the military had an antidote they were pumping into her.
“Maki.” Nico muttered.
Maki was still kneeling next to the couch, her hand on Nico’s, “Yes, Nico-chan?”
Nico smiled, “S’nice when you say my name like that.’
Maki prodded Nico, “Did you need something?”
Nico opened her eyes, focusing them on Maki and flipping her hand so it embraced Maki’s, “I’m glad you’re taking care of me.”
Maki squeezed Nico’s hand, gently, “Me too.”
PARTING
Maki let Nico sleep. Komura stopped by again but with no response from Nico and Maki’s assurance that after rest and food, Nico would be able to walk out of the party, Komura let the doctor handle the situation. Maki’s mother stayed behind when Komura went to manage the other entertainers.
Maki closed the door after Nico’s manager and leaned her head against it. She jumped when her mother touched her shoulder. “Do you want me to take over so you can have a break and see your friends?”
“I’m fine,” Maki smiled at her mother, then glanced at Nico, curled up under a blanket her mother had found. “I’d rather be here. In case anything happens.” She chuckled, “Besides, you know how much I love mingling.”
“Yes, I do.” Her mother laughed, “Can I have anything sent in?”
Maki nodded. An IV wasn’t enough. Nico would do better with calories in her system. “Some plain food, rice or soup maybe. She needs to eat.”
“All right.” Maki was surprised when her mother hugged her, her voice serious,“Take care of Nico but be careful.”
“W…what?” Flushing, Maki began to realize that her mother’s event planner might not have been the one to suggest Nico Ni’s appearance.
Her mother’s smile was a little sad, “Komura’s got more military tells than anyone I’ve ever seen in talent management. And he takes everything seriously.”
“So do I.” Maki knew her mother read the lack of surprise about the military comment on her face, but the older woman chose not to press.
Maki tucked herself into the couch, opposite where Nico’s head laid, her own head resting on her knees. She knew so little about Nico and yet…for months, she’d been watching the street tagger, admiring her skills, smarts and mischievous gleam, dreaming about her, worrying about her dangers. And ever since she’d met Nico Ni in person, Maki had been unable to stop her thoughts from returning to the singer, wondering why she was so irritating, constantly closing her eyes and seeing visions of legs, eyes or a sensual smirk, layered in phenomenal colors. Dually fascinated. Perhaps she’d sensed something similar about the two people, well the one person lying here in front of her. She reached a hand down, touching the side of Nico’s foot. Warm, soft skin. The singer moved and muttered, Maki quickly pulled her hand back. Nico’s eyes opened.
“Pervert,” she teased, ruby lit with impish fire again.
Maki stuttered, both hands raised. “I…I didn’t….”
“I’m teasing you, Maki-chan. Relax.” Nico gingerly sat herself up, Maki leaning in to assist. Nico let one of her hands fall to where Maki’s had caught her waist.
There was a knock on the door. Reluctantly, Maki went to get the food.
The security guard handed her a tray. “Nishikino-sama said Nico Ni’s car will arrive in 45 minutes and her manager expects her to say goodbyes.”
“Thank you.”
Nico grinned when she smelled the food, but couldn’t resist a poke, “I don’t smell pizza.
Maki was developing an ignore Nico’s obvious affronts strategy and just placed the tray on the low table in front of her, “Eat as much as you can.”
Nico nodded.
“We can talk in this room, if there’s anything you’d like to…”
Nico looked at Maki seriously, “Do you enjoy teaching?”
Maki was reminded of the night Nico invited her to dinner. She laughed, “This isn’t a date either.”
“If it turns out lousy again do I get to count it?” Nico reached across the table to poke Maki with her spoon. “I’m eating excellent soup, I already passed out and I have a headache, same as the last time.”
“Are you getting dizzy again?” Concerned, Maki sat down next to Nico, turning the singer’s head, making sure her eyes were focusing properly.
“Just a little,” Nico whispered, leaning in.
“Do you need to lie down?” Maki’s hands wrapped around Nico’s upper arms, offering support as she wondered if she should just call an ambulance and check Nico into the family hospital. A private room would allow her to…
“Is that what the doctor would advise?” Nico continued leaning, her eyes dropping their focus to Maki’s lips.
“Yes, if you’re feeling at all unsteady.” Maki’s tone was earnest, brows dropped in a serious line over amethyst eyes.
Nico pulled back, laughing, and suddenly Maki realized how close the other woman had been to…
Nico interrupted that image, and swooped close, her grin right back in Maki’s face, “You really are a LOUSY date.”
“W…what do you mean? You’re not…” Once again, Maki felt the pulse of irritation or frustration building inside her, the urge to move, to lash out, to…
Nico huffed and grabbed Maki’s shoulders, pulling the redhead in. She was stronger than Maki would have guessed. The kiss was quick, rough and left Maki breathless. Nico let go and Maki slumped back against the couch, her tongue licking her lips as if the tingle Nico had left could be tasted.
Nico stood up, taking up the pieces of her mask, “Merry Christmas, Maki-chan.”
No. This wasn’t how this was going to work. Not only had Nico not eaten more than three spoonfuls of soup, Maki was finally started to know what that pulsed energy meant, why the frustration surged, the pull she felt toward Nico, the awakened need to touch Nico, to feel Nico’s caresses, quick, rough or gentle, the way their connection glowed, the way her hairs rose when Nico’s hand brushed over her arm, suspended on a layer of electricity that Nico discharged like breath.
Maki grabbed the back of Nico’s dress. The fabric was so thin it almost tore, but she pulled and Nico fell backwards into her lap. Maki wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and pushed her nose into Nico’s neck, inhaling, as if she’d just surfaced from a deep dive, “I don’t want you to go.”
“That tickles,” Nico’s voice was soft, one hand resting on top of Maki’s clasped pair. They were both silent, Maki memorizing everything about this moment; Nico steeling herself for the next. Then, Nico squeezed Maki’s hands once and breaking their hold, stood, refusing to look back, “I’ll see you around.”
“Nico-chan.” Maki watched Nico leave, then threw herself down on the couch, tears starting.
CAN YOU HAVE A HANGOVER WEEKS LATER
Umi and Eli shared a glance over Maki’s head. Their usually stable partner had been shuffling around in a gloomy fog since the Nishikino’s Christmas party. They’d had to pry her away from any televised or streamed Nico Ni concerts as those just added anger to the gloom and exhaustion. Umi had taken to not telling her when No 1 had tagged if Maki wasn’t there, but Maki would of course find out later from the IdolFools’ TWIG feeds.
There had been no more messages directed at Maki, just general stay warm and kiss girls early and often advice, accompanied by sexy Santa costume pinup art. Eli had started dragging Maki to the cafeteria every day they had class just so she could be sure Maki ate something.
“I’m going to heat up the pizza,” Eli announced. “You are eating at least two slices. I think you’ve lost weight.”
“Not hungry.” Maki’s face was hidden in her hands.
“It’s late, Maki. I don’t think they’ll be out.” Umi offered, but that was the wrong thing to say as Maki sat up and whirled her chair to face Umi.
“Did you crack their pattern?”
Umi sighed, “They don’t have a pattern. When and where are random as far as I can calculate.” Umi frowned and hesitated, glancing at Eli.
“What is it?” Maki stood, looming over Umi.
“After 1 out of 3 Nico Ni concerts, the IdolFools go out.” Umi stated slowly.
“She has a concert tomorrow.”
“Yes.” Umi couldn’t disagree with facts and Eli was refusing to step in.
Maki grabbed her coat, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Where are you going?” Eli wondered.
“Home,” an ember of hope lit in Maki’s eyes, “to sleep. I need it.”
NOT TONIGHT
Maki had opted for hat, hoodie and mask she could pull up, as well as dark glasses. If she’d had any avenue to reach out to Nico she might have asked for advice about effective camouflage. But there was none. She and Umi had worked out the most likely neighborhood for IdolFools to hit after the Nico Ni concert. Maki had found a dive that served pizza and ate slowly, waiting for Umi’s signal and running conversation simulations in her mind. None of them were successful, too many ended up with her in tears and more than a dozen were interrupted by the police, after their voices attracted the curfew drones.
Nico stretched. The concert had been a huge rush. It was so much easier to just look at the faces filled with joy at her voice and antics, to be in the moment, vibing and gliding on the feelings around her. That way she didn’t have to think about the messages that were being delivered via her songs. When she’d entered the Program at the age of 16, sure she’d known girls were cute, but in the early days of the government’s slow freeze out of ‘alternatives’ to heteronormative marriages and families, Nico hadn’t really considered that her own desires would interfere with the plan she had mapped out, how hard she had worked to top her class and succeed at what she did, making people smile. And now, making people smile was making the people Nico cared about – and the one person Nico most wanted to care about, unhappy and putting them in danger.
She’d already told Honoka and Rin where to meet her so as reluctant as she was to have to switch into No 1 mode and directly confront her bipolar existence, that was what she had decided to do at some point earlier in the week. And even if it was a stupid thing to have decided, as Komura had said, Nico was more stubborn than smart. So painting “Kiss A Girl Hard” on a wall outside the local marriage brokerage was the closest to that action Nico was going to come tonight, no matter how often a certain girl genius’s lips danced through her mind.
And then she ran into The Girl. Maki. Tall and smart enough to be masked and hooded but Nico recognized her, even from the back. “Something in the way she moves”…wasn’t that a song? Nico shook her head, biting her lip, frozen, forcing those hopes aways. This was not something she was prepared to deal with tonight. Run, Nico thought, now. And then Maki turned and stretched to grab her arm as if she’d read Nico’s mind.
“No.” Nico hissed, her eyes scanning every direction but Maki’s.
“Please.” Somewhere between a demand and a request; she’d left Nico a choice.
Nico couldn’t see Maki’s eyes behind the tinted glasses, possibly the only thing that had allowed Nico to say what she had to next. “No. Let me go.”
Maki ripped off the glasses, amethyst gems that broadcast so much emotion glistening with tears and torn future moments, even in the darkness. Nico was caught, her own eyes revealing too much. Maki’s voice was the silky lure of someone suddenly sure of Nico’s answer, “Nico-chan.”
Rin, Honoka, now Maki…could no one understand that Nico needed these to be deep deep dark nights where NO ONE ever said her name out loud on the streets. How hard was that? Maki was a fricking genius and she couldn’t even remember. Didn’t they know how dangerous this was for Nico? Was Nico the only one who cared? Nico let that anger catch fire. She knew it would explode between them, throwing them apart, but right now, she didn’t care. These were her decisions, her actions, the choices that allowed her to be able to look in the mirror every morning before she put on the make up that took away her choices.
Nico pulled away, eyes closed, body whipping around, refusing to be snared by the pleading, “No.”
Maki let Nico’s arm go. Nico ran.
WORK IT OUT
When Nico fled from Maki, the redhead followed for a few moments but then suddenly found herself furious at everything. Nico, who wouldn’t even look at her, Nico, who had slipped and opened up for just a second, drawing Maki in with an ardor that Nico couldn’t disguise. And then she’d pivoted, her back to Maki again, quick enough to dodge the hand that Maki had reached out without conscious thought. And Nico had run, sprinted, fled, not toward anything, Maki knew, but away from everything that happened each time their worlds crashed together. All Maki could remember as she chased No. 1 were the barriers around Nico Ni, the makeup, the public persona, the never a clear view through the crowds between them, the impossibility. All Maki wanted and oh how much she wanted it, was to be alone again in a room with that other Nico, a Nico stripped of makeup and barriers and falsity. The Nico who was running away now as if her life depended on everything but Maki.
Maki stopped running. Nico was too fast and Maki was too frustrated. Enough time had been wasted on this futile attempt to connect with Nico. Time to go home. At this hour, there was the usual amount of traffic, the curfew drones, wandering pedestrians but the redhead’s mood was creating a dangerous enough aura that everything that came across her path stepped aside.
Home and straight to the piano. Nico. Maki’s mind looped images from Nico Ni’s performances, the demon black eyes staring through her, mixed with No 1’s art and grin, ruby eyes sparkling with invites to mischief, all these melded into the memories of Nico’s hand soft on hers, of Nico’s lips hard on hers. The Idol’s impish grin sharp in her mind, Maki’s hands drove into keys, creating a melody layered with the flare of frustration, the tease of a perilous pleasure, the boldness of attraction, the brashness of want, passions both distant and surging stormed through with a harmonic strangeness that hooked into her heart.
“It’s not fair, it’s not fair, you’re hiding your true intentions See! Our eyes just met again! It’s not fair, it’s not fair, you’re hiding your true intentions and it’s captivating me Ahh, your magnetism just isn’t fair! (Are you looking at me?) (Don’t look at me!)
Aren’t you coming here? Come here! Doki Doki Doki, your motives are dishonest! Are you hoping to be good friends? Or do you wish to be rivals? Doki Doki Doki, your motives are dishonest!
Maybe tomorrow, I’ll smile at you honestly So I’ve decided, but I feel hesitant… How strange! (It’s awful) this personality you put on (But I only have) this kind of personality Aren’t you coming here? Come here! Hey… When I think about it…
We might be alike (How, exactly?) Like our composure? Hoping to be good friends, wishing to be rivals, it’s just on my mind
I know, I know, you’re hiding your serious side It’s scary to become entranced I know, I know, you’re hiding your serious side and it’s captivating me Ahh, magnetic today!! (Aren’t you coming here?) (Come here!)
It’s not fair, it’s not fair, you’re hiding your true intentions See! Our eyes just met again! It’s not fair, it’s not fair, you’re hiding your true intentions and it’s captivating me Ahh, your magnetism just isn’t fair! I know, I know,, you’re hiding your serious side It’s scary to become entranced I know, I know, you’re hiding your serious side and it’s captivating me Ahh, magnetic today!! (Hey, so what are we going to do?) (Hurry up and decide!)
Are you looking at me? Don’t look at me! Wanna wanna wanna, it’s a trap! Are you an ally? Or are you an enemy? Wanna wanna wanna, it’s a trap!
Ballet Twist here and welcome to this week’s Soldier Game broadcast. We hope Santa-san treated you kindly. And that was Zurui Yo Magnetic Today, the new song from Diamond Princess, who’s suffering a bit of a love crisis at the moment, which when she hears this, she is going to kill me for mentioning. But Love Arrow and I are both dating women we adore, and we want the same for Diamond Princess and you. To help with that, text this week’s code phrase ‘icy burn’ to the number you know for this week’s Tunnel Rave location. And the Sexy Cyber Nurse will be making an appearance for those of you who need a refill. Bring a friend. And the monthly virtual Redub Anime Yuri event is happening this Thursday, grab your visors and step in for the character of your choice as we rev up the love gears with two redubbed to be sexier episodes of Dynamic Leadership Rescue Force. RAY to the Rescue again.
And to get you through tonight, Love Arrow is going to give you some tips to hack through those government filters.”
“Doki Doki Doki?!?!??!?!? Someone likes Nico-chan.” Honoka purred in Nico’s ear, sneaking up behind the shorter women. Nico whirled, spraying Honoka with the silver she’d been creating a disco ball with.
“What are you talking about?” Nico growled.
Nico couldn’t see Honoka’s eyes behind her darkened safety goggles, but she sounded like a child who’d just found the newest funnest toy. It was a familiar mood for Honoka, but Nico hated when she qualified as that toy. “New Diamond Princess song, she sounds mad at…. Are you a magnet? Or someone hiding your true…” Honoka pulled her headphones off, “it is about you.”
Nico groaned and went back to painting after knocking away the offered headphones, “I’ll listen later.”
Honoka shoved Nico off balance, “She sounds mad at you but all sexy, Ni…”
“NO NAMES!” Nico was loud enough to echo, her frustration ringing in the alley.
Rin was keeping watch at the end of the street and gave the “hurry” hand signal. Nico painted the Red Sun in the center of the disco ball, and wrote “New Year Day, New Year Gay.” Then she tagged the art, waited for Honoka to finish writing “Kiss My Cookie” before grabbing the ginger roughly by the collar and dragged her toward Rin.
Umi had been at the computer when the facial recognition crawler she had running brought up the feed showing tonight’s IdolFools escapade. No 1 hadn’t looked at the camera once but Umi had heard the argument over Maki’s latest song, which Umi had had very little input into. Maybe it was better Maki was currently in her lab at the townhouse, trying to figure out the best growth medium for a robot brain. Predicting Maki’s reactions to anything was hard enough, but her current feelings about Nico were a reactor with no cooling fluid. Umi wondered what Nico would think when she actually listened to the song. Eli had decided to let Maki fume her way out of the funk, but Umi feared without intervention that there would be a public breaking point.
Maki stared at the private courier envelope her mother had sent over. Invitation to the latest opening at the Breath of Storm Gallery, entertainment Nico Ni. Invitations were priceless; the gallery had one opening every season to which only the elite were invited and coerced into leaving all of their electronic, robotic and artificial aids at home or the door so that they could experience a night, to quote the invitation, of “ineffable and ephemeral” pleasures.
Maki watched the tiny origami robots she had set scrambling over her worktable. Umi was working on some kind of experiment that would see how rapidly and well they developed troubleshooting capabilities. Maki put down two 3 D printed circuits, one she had scored with a gash, to watch for their response. One bumped into the gash and stopped, summoning for the other eight. While they gathered, Maki considered the invitation. Her mother had included nothing but the ticket. Although Maki had briefly considered just ignoring all things No 1 and Nico Ni, that had been barely a blink of a rant. Truthfully, she wanted to see Nico again. Badly. Needed to see Nico again perhaps. But how would Nico react? Would Maki appear on a guest list for that evening so Nico had advance warning? Would Komura create a problem? And could Maki wear something that ensured Nico could not ignore her?
Umi’s phone went off. Maki? Umi double snapped away the IdolFools footage. Had Maki seen it somehow?
“Hello?”
“W..where’d you get the dress you wore to my parents’ Christmas party?” Maki’s voice stumbled a little.
“Kotori made it.”
“Kotori?”
“Kotori works at μ’s with Nozomi. We became friends in elementary school.”
“Oh,” Maki’s voice hesitated, “Could she make one for me? In two days?”
“I can certainly ask her.”
“Thank you.” Maki sounded relieved.
“May I ask why?”
Silence.
“Maki?”
“M…my mo…” Maki paused, Umi heard her take in a deep breath, “I’m going to a gallery opening and Nico Ni is the performer.”
“I’ll call Kotori immediately.”
“Thank you.” Maki coughed, “Don’t tell Eli.”
Umi laughed, “I won’t but Nozomi will.”
THE VOICE IN MY HEAD
Show tomorrow. Stress tonight. Nico had been looking forward to rehearsal, a way to sweat out the frustration. Her equilibrium had returned, her physical equilibrium anyway. Her emotional equilibrium had taken a massive hit when Honoka and Rin held her down and made her listen to the latest Diamond Princess song. Now all she could hear was Maki’s voice in her head…“It’s not fair, it’s not fair, you’re hiding your true intentions and it’s captivating me/Ahh, your magnetism just isn’t fair! (Are you looking at me?)” And all Nico felt like doing was screaming back “NO, IT’S NOT FAIR!”
But then she would be admitting that she could not handle this situation and there was no situation that the No 1 Idol, the Super Idol, the great Nico Ni could not handle. All she needed to do was avoid a certain genius until Nico stopped tripping randomly into these deep swells of emotional vertigo, a swirling feeling, shifting memories of arms holding her so tight Nico was surprised she hadn’t woken with bruises and a thrill of a voice whispering her name cutting through a miasma of pained confusion on a night she will never fully remember.
Naran, the dance coach, started the music again and Nico made a misstep. Which meant A-Rise made a misstep. Which never put Komura in a good mood. Nico rubbed the back of her head, careful not to disturb the shunt the transmitter wire nestled in.
“Again, Yazawa.” There was a snap in Naran’s voice. The intro started up again, which prevented Komura from snapping at her as well. Nico moved through the dance easily, spinning off the male dancers, A Rise moving in their responding pattern, this one was Waves, Nico remembered, so the three robot Idols used more of the stage than the algorithmic response patterns centered on her location. Star was the tightest of the formations, none of them ever got further than 10 steps from Nico.
And the song started and Nico had to stop herself from singing, “It’s not fair, it’s not fair, you’re hiding your true intentions/See! Our eyes just met again!”
She managed to force out the usual pop nonsense, but there was no sell, no personality behind it. Komura stormed up to her, “What’s the problem, Yazawa? Forget the lyrics?”
Everyone else had stopped, dancers as still as the robots waiting for the next signal from Nico. She tapped the break code on her skull and the normal A-Rise programming took over. Nico glared at Komura, “Get me a better songwriter. I’m bored. And if I’m bored, so will my audience.”
Komura took a step back, “You’re here because you can sell any song.”
Nico shook her head, “Not if we keep this up. They’re used to our playbook. You have to keep the audience guessing. We’ve settled into a dull spot. We need to unsettle them.”
Komura shook his head, not prepared to argue when his prize performer seemed to have an actual point. “Unsettle?”
“Some friction. Maybe not jump straight to the happy ending.”
“We are here to ensure that a proper mood and example is set.” Komura grimaced.
Nico sighed and collapsed dramatically into a chair, “Check with your psych guys. Give them a thrill, a little uncertainty, there’ll be a bigger payoff, more pheromones,” Nico let her eyes widen and gave Komura her trademark gesture and biggest grin, “And Nico Ni gets even more popular. My last single didn’t break download records.”
Komura looked thoughtful. Nico took a moment to be impressed with her own ability to throw up a smokescreen. And then that sultry voice slithered back into her mind and her vision tinted lavender.
OUT OF DARKNESS
Maki was impressed. With only her measurements and no fitting, Kotori had delivered a perfectly form fitting royal purple dress, falling off her right shoulder, bosom nicely cleaved, left side slit to mid thigh and delta and theta brainwave patterns flipped and embroidered in twisted gold braid on the vertical plane.
Maki had borrowed her family’s driver for the night as she would be carrying no electronic devices or aids. The exhibit was sculptures, flowers made out of granite and basalt local to Shikoku and left for months to washed over by the waves off the island.
Maki slipped into the gallery, a little late for the start of the performance. Make an entrance, her instincts told her, make Nico notice her. The gallery interior was dark, strobe lights and a tendrils of either fog or light drifted everywhere. Maki swept through, her moves bold and confident. The crowd moved aside and muttered, distracted from the show for just a moment, but a moment a performer as attuned as Nico would be sure to catch.
Nico’s voice hitched so slightly Maki would not have noticed if she hadn’t been listening for a reaction. Nico’s attention, check. Maki let a brief smile cross her lips, but not where Nico could see it. Then she found a wall exactly opposite Nico’s stage for the night and leaned back, stretching her legs out one at a time to get comfortable. Then arms crossed over her chest to cover her nervousness, she watched Nico, ignoring everything around her. She thought she saw Nico glance in her direction and shake her head. Maki shrugged and leaned forward slowly at that moment, grabbing a bottled drink, drawing Nico’s stare.
Maki found herself enjoying lurking in the dark, the crowd around her, but not interacting, following Nico’s movements, letting her eyes prey in the darkness, smug because she knew Nico had to look anywhere but at her if the singer had any hope of maintaining her composure. Maki didn’t know where her insight into Nico’s perspective came from, but she was certain her instincts were on target. Once Nico’s performance finished, she moved to examine the sculptures, drifting as far outside of Nico’s circle as she could.
She felt Nico before she heard or saw her, the singer’s fingers lightly tracing up one of the delta wave patterns on the outside of Maki’s thigh. Then the hand settled on her waist, pulling her around. Nico was in front of her, face shadowed behind the nosepiece of an Egyptian themed helmet, hawk shaped into the crown, sharp, dangerous beak hiding Nico’s expression. Black eyes stared with such intensity, Maki could almost see the ruby lasers behind the contacts.
“Are you a trap?”
Maki laughed and arms reaching behind Nico’s head, she tipped the golden helmet back and touched her lips to Nico’s ear, “It’s not fair.” Then she let her lips drag across Nico’s cheek as the smaller woman shivered. Their kiss was short, but Maki crowded all the sensations that still lingered from Nico’s every touch into that contact. The flare of emotion blinded her behind closed eyes and Nico groped forward when Maki broke their contact, a whisper of need forced out.
And Maki swept out, still bold and even more confident.
STRIPPED
Maki had sunk a century. She spun the table dial to reset the score to zero and rolled her cue between her hands. Time to be done with billiards. She could still feel the buzz from Nico’s response to her kiss, her look, her attitude. She’d never been that aware of anyone before, the electric thrill that raised every hair on her arm whenever she neared Nico, the warmth that spread through her body when she remembered Nico’s eyes on her the first time they’d met in person.
AARGGHHHH…Maki paced through her entire house, wishing she had a speed bag here so there was something to pour all this energy into. The pool cue had been discarded on the table, rather than venting some of her frustration, it had twisted it further and she knew if she took another shot, she’d split the felt. Would Nico show up? Did Nico remember the townhouse? Was their final kiss still as stamped onto Nico’s lips as hers.
Video game….no. Maki decided to go through the warm up routine Umi had drilled into her muscle memory, switching her dress for a mesh black tank top and grey boy shorts. Moving through the kata, sweating out some of her energy was a relief so by the time Maki collapsed on her couch with a slice of pizza and a beer, she was nearly yawning.
“You messed up my makeup.” Nico’s voice sounded…whimsical? plainative? Close?
Maki sat up. Nico was next to her on the couch, not in a costume or a hoodie, but in a t-shirt, camo pants, and a baseball cap, unit patch centered and Yazawa stitched over the left ear, holding her hair back.
“Nice outfit though.” Nico stated, very close and definitely amused. Maki suddenly realized exactly how see through the mesh tank was, “Might be better than the dress.” Nico’s hand was warm as she pulled Maki to her.
“Yours is…” Maki felt herself start to shiver.
Nico shrugged, eyes worried, “This isn’t a night for Nico Ni or No 1.”
Maki had no words but with a sudden surge of the energy and joy she recognized from earlier, she pulled Nico into a hug, lifting the smaller woman off the couch. Nico’s laugh was amazing, music, caress and promise.
And then there was Nico’s kiss, bold, but as the dark haired woman pushed them both down into the couch cushions, Maki’s only sense was of a gentle invitation to open up, to meet Nico’s dynamism with an equal vigor. She felt giddy, her fingers freeing Nico’s lush hair from her hat and Nico’s hands a proprietary weight on her hips as need, sharp, stinging need, churned in the wake of Nico’s lips dash up the front of her throat.
“Nico-chan.” It was almost a gasp.
Maki woke up, still on the couch, legs and arms wrapped around a sleeping Nico. There was more than just contact between them, a tangible connection, something Maki could have never described eloquently to anyone, just the sure knowledge, in that moment, that Nico belonged there, would stay there, a warmth that seared Nico’s presence into Maki’s heart.
And then Nico’s eyes snapped open, as if she’d heard an invitation and the ruby depths brightened as her arms tightened to pull the redhead closer. Maki’s heart quickened and as Nico’s teeth bit down into her lips she realized that their first night together was a long way from over.
MORNING AFTER
Nico couldn’t help grinning as she bounced into the offices Homura had claimed at the Ministry for their operation. She flashed her brightest Nico Ni smile at the woman stationed behind the desk.
“Good morning, Sergeant Takeda. How’s your daughter?”
“Just fine, Lt. Colonel, the doctor says she can return to school next week. I tried those soup recipes; they really cheered her up.” Takeda pulled out a sealed envelope, “Here is your itinerary.”
“Thanks. Have to run. Keep an eye on this,” Nico winked and left her ultra sized ultra sweetened coffee drink on Takeda’s desk as Komura’s voice blasted out of the inner office.
“Yawawa! In here. Now.”
Nico stood at ease as Komura glared at her from behind his desk.
“You’re late, Yazawa. And you weren’t in your room last night.”
“Sorry, sir. Met a friend.” Nico almost managed to keep her voice free of gloating. She was less successful at keeping her mind free of red hair tossed back against the arm of a very sturdy couch.
“Yazawa.” Komura snapped.
“Yes, sir.” Nico stood at attention. Time to be on the clock. Nico was an expert at being who she needed to be at any moment. And right now, she needed to be the officer.
Komura shoved papers to the left. “Blow off steam if you want, Yazawa, but don’t make it a habit. And don’t get in ‘trouble.’ See the medic if you need to.”
Nico stared at the wall above Komura’s head, afraid a giggle would come out when she realized what Komura meant by ‘trouble.’
“Not a problem, sir.” A pause, while she carefully drained all humor out of her tone, “Not at all.”
“Good.” Komura grunted, “Go over your itinerary. We leave tomorrow.”
“Yes, sir.”
AFTER MORNING AFTER
Maki was still waking up. At some point when she’d woken up before Nico left, she’d texted Eli with instructions for the 8 a.m. class and then curled back up next to Nico. And after Nico left, she’d stayed curled up on the couch, half asleep and going back through the entire night, still amazed at how it how turned out, at how easy she and Nico had turned out to be together. The talk they’d had before breakfast had none of the anger of their previous interactions while retaining all of the fire. To go from flirting to kissing to flirting over breakfast had been so natural that Maki longed for Nico to be there every morning. But it would be a long time before she had another night with Nico. The great and glorious Nico Ni was due for a tour of the north of Japan. Maki grinned, realizing she could still grumble about the demon doll idol. It would be a way to vent some of the loneliness.
She jammed Nico’s ball cap on her head and headed to the Dojo. Time to get back to work on growing enough of an organoid that they could start experimenting with printed blood vessels and optical sensors.
Why yes, Maki had planned to be studying the principles and practicalities of 3-d printed blood vessels and circuits but instead she was mapping out Nico’s tour for reference. The door to the computer lab slid open and she whirled her seat, greeting Umi and Eli as they took their coats off.
Umi noticed her hat and recognized the insignia, “Are you partnering with the Air Defense Forces on a project?”
Eli snorted as Maki blushed, “You could say that”.
“What?” Umi turned to Eli, confused.
“She’ll be serving under Lt. Col. Yazawa.” Eli winked at Maki.
“ELI!” Both Maki and Umi’s shouts echoed with indignation.
Umi bowed to Maki, “My apologies. The exasperation is yours to express. How is Nico?”
“Probably not rested.” Eli couldn’t resist another dig.
Maki twirled her chair back around, ignoring Eli’s teasing, trying to close the window that had Nico’s schedule up before Eli or Umi noticed.
“Nico is fine.”
“So fine.” Eli drummed her hands on Maki’s shoulder.
“Eli. Stop.” Maki begged.
“I concur.” Umi agreed.
“Any day I have to cover for your 8 am class because you have an Idol in your bed is a day I get to tease you as much as I want.” Eli announced. Umi booted up her computer.
“She was on the couch.” Maki muttered.
Eli leaned over Maki’s shoulder, “What did you say?”
“It was the couch.”
Eli spun Maki’s chair, “Innovative thinking, Nishikino. We like to see that.”
Umi stood back up, pushing the off switch, shutting her computer down improperly, much like the conversation driving her to the action, “I will be upstairs. Should either of you wish to apologize and actually work, I will reconsider my exit.”
Maki looked up at Eli and they both started laughing. Eli hugged Umi as the darker haired woman tried to maintain a frown and failed, joining the mirth. Maki grinned. Memories of Nico still fresh enough that she could almost feel her warmth and friends to laugh with. Imagining a future with Nico, outside the government issued boxes, brightened every horizon.
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